Dead Fish

Now that we discussed how to get things going in the opening act, we can talk about an important issue: the dead fish. If you can’t guess the quick answer, it’s that being a dead fish is not really the best of things. Maybe a friend or two has mentioned "It was like having sex with a log." No one wants to knock boots with a person who doesn't even seem to be enjoying it.

Men and women alike prefer a partner that makes a little noise. How else would they know if their partner is getting any pleasure by what they're doing? A little moan and groan here and there never hurt anyone. Now, you don't want to overdo it and put Jenna Jameson out of business either, but you sure as hell want to let your partner know that you're enjoying the experience. Never be afraid to tell your partner what you like. If your partner isn't exactly hitting the right spot, try guiding them with your hand and when they’re hitting the spot just right let them know with an "Oh! Right there! I like it when you do that." or whatever other dirty little descriptions come to mind. In doing this you're not being a jerk about it or making them feel as if they're completely lost or incompetent. By the way, for the record, we would like to state that when you hear the words "DON'T STOP!" it means just that. Don't be scared. Don't stop to think about what you just heard. Don't do anything except whatever you were doing because it's obviously working.

Vocalization isn’t the only thing you need to do; you will want to try and move around a little, too. If he's on top don't be scared to give a little thrust of your own every once in awhile. Grab his back or bite his shoulder from time to time too. Go ahead and scratch his back lightly (and if you think he might be into it, dig a little deeper). If you're in the middle of some intense pleasure filled cunnilingus, please feel free to grab his face and bury it into your kitty. We're pretty sure he'll go nuts over it. We all want to be the master of the bedroom but we're not all the same and that means sometimes you have to put your pride away and learn the special tricks that make your partner go insane. There are some little tricks and moves that work across the board, but everyone is different, so pay attention and learn all of your partner’s special spots. Take time to explore their body and don't worry if they make a suggestion or two you've already gotten this far;, so you must be doing something right; check your neurosis at the door and enjoy yourself. Don’t be afraid to take charge sometimes, don't always play bottom, get up and ride.

Unfortunately sometimes, it's not your partners fault. Some people just haven't explored themselves enough and simply do not know what gets them off. There's nothing wrong with this and, thankfully, there is a simple solution: lock yourself up in your room and go to town! When you learn what you like it'll be easier to get in the mood and not be such a log! You’ll also be able to better communicate to your partner what gets you off, and that’s always a good thing. Consider dimming the lights and lighting some candles. Maybe a nice hot bubble bath can do the trick and get you in the mood. Don't be scared of yourself, it's not like you're going to bite yourself, unless you're into that sort of thing, you kinky little devil you. The point of this is to figure out which spots turn YOU on. Not all women are the same and we don't all get off with the same techniques. Some women like it fast while some like it slow. Others need more pressure while some prefer less. It's up to you to figure it out and let your partner know.

Men, don't think you're getting away with anything either. Lord knows there are a ton of you that are silent from start to finish. Even if you're doing all the work at times and are certainly not a dead fish, how are we supposed to know if you're enjoying the ride if you haven't said a single word? If we wanted a robot, we would use one of the toys we already have hidden away in a trunk or drawer somewhere. Please lead by example and show a little enthusiasm. As much as you hate the dead fish, so do the ladies.


Remember to K.I.S.S.

A&A